2.23.2016

Work in progress

Life before knowing Christ

I grew up with a workaholic father who was not always around, even on the important events of my life like graduation. My two brothers also had independent lives and we did not grow up together. I was dependent on my mom for a lot of things, we were inseparable. Growing up I was looking for happiness from other people or material things. I get easily jealous when my friends had other close friends. My happiness was dependent on other people. I also had insecurities/pressures on being compared to the success of my brothers.

How I came to know Jesus

In 2001, I experienced occasional headaches and was diagnosed of Open Angle Glaucoma on both eyes. Glaucoma affects people of all ages and is the leading cause of blindness in the world. Glaucoma is a disease in your eye that damages your optic nerve. To put it simply, the white fluid that keeps your eye healthy is unable to properly drain and causes pressure to build, which can result in blindness. My eye pressure before was around 20 to 25.

During that time, I did not have a dedicated doctor who can closely monitor my glaucoma, because of the distance of the hospital from my place. For the first five years, I was prescribed around 5 to 6 eye drops that I had to take several times during the day. Because of the medications, my eye pressure was lowered down to 15 to 20.

In 2005, my mom and I went to Australia to visit our relatives and also have a second opinion with regards to my condition. Felt hopeless when the doctor there informed us that in 5 to 15 years, I could lose my eyesight completely. We stayed there for two months and we got to experience having a spiritual family because my Tita was very active in her local church. It was during one of their gatherings, that my Tita prayed for me and my mom and it was during that moment that we felt the presence of the Holy Spirit.

Life after accepting Christ as my Lord and Savior

When we got back from Australia, I was invited by a friend from college to attend Victory Christian Fellowship. I became active in Kids Church and Youth ministry.
Early 2008, I decided to look for a doctor within the area who can easily go to regularly. By God’s grace, I was able to find an ophthalmologist in Borough Eastwood and underwent the Glaucoma Filtration Procedure. In August 2008, I attended Victory Weekend and was baptized with the Holy Spirit. Eventually, I started sharing the gospel through one2one.

In 2009, I was in a relationship with a non-believer and it became my primary focus. My parents took very good care of me through the years and it was time for me to start learning to be independent. By August 2013, my parents finally allowed me to live on my own and give me the freedom that I needed. Me and my boyfriend had a lot of issues and fought a lot of times but I did not have the courage to let go. I experienced both emotional and physical pain. There was even a time that I sprained my ankle because of my foolishness. In Oct 2013, I did a strict low-calorie diet for 6 months and lost 20 pounds. I thought that it could improve the relationship but I was wrong. I was also not happy that I sacrificed my time with my family and put more priority into my relationship. By July 4, 2014, I gathered up the courage and decided to finally end it. It was not an easy decision ending a 5-year relationship and at 30 years old. For an entire year, I kept myself preoccupied by exercising and watching Korean dramas. It was a heartbreaking experience for me but until now I have no regrets. It brought about so many blessings in my life.
My primary focus became my family, especially my nephew. I was able to restore the trust of my parents. It was through that experience that my mom became open in attending CCF with me, and eventually my dad as well. I decided to be active again in church by volunteering for the technical ministry in Victory. During prayer and fasting last Jan 2015, I was informed of an opportunity to work in a new project/location and I gladly took on the challenge. It was a step of faith for me to leave my comfort zone of 8 years. I was praying for a small group and was able to attend a CCF bible study (which I saw in Facebook). I was even surprised to discover that several people who I interacted with at work were also believers. God never failed to surprise me. It was truly a blessing to have a spiritual family wherever I go. There were many firsts for me in 2015, commuting and experienced night shift for a month, seeing an old friend have that thirst for a relationship with God, were a few of them. I had simple joys knowing that I can step out in faith and know that God is always with me. By July 2015, I received another answered prayer and was promoted as the team lead for the project. I was humbled because I was chosen even though there were others who were in the project longer than I. I am also thankful that I was given an opportunity to adjust my schedule at work, so that I can be more active in ministry. Last Dec 2015, my mom and I started attending WOW Thursdays and are now part of a small group.

With regards to Glaucoma, there are improvements for both eyes for the past 15 years. Currently, I only have 1 eye drop medication and my eye pressure is constant at 8.

God slowly changed my heart and I am so overwhelmed with His presence in my life and my family. God has placed a burned in my heart to reach out to other people. He is also constantly guiding me on things or people that need to hold on to or let go. Me and my family are still works in progress and are improving our ways to communicate better with each other.

Life verses:
Psalm 91:2 “I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”

Philippians 4:13 “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

Romans 12:2 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

1 Timothy 4:12 “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.”

1 Peter 5:7 “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

Colossians 3:12 “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”

Hebrews 10:19-25 ESV
Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Life if I didn’t come to know Christ

My life would have no direction and I would still be relying on my own strength.
My focus would be on worldly pleasures and would still remain full of insecurities.